Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Habanero Poppers part 1: "A loaf of bread," the Walrus said

We found these spicy little numbers at the Portland Farmer's Market: two habanero plants (with little green peppers) for $2. Couldn't let that deal slip by. Put these babies in the ground, forgot about them for a while, came back and-Presto!-tasty fruit ready for harvesting. Exactly like raising kids.

Two by two, hands of blue: we washed, bisected, and seeded five peppers.

Then over-filled each half with a proprietary mixture of Tillamook sharp cheddar, cream cheese, bacon, cumin, and paprika.

Then breaded them with egg, flour, and breadcrumbs.

Habanero Poppers part 2: We can begin to feed.

Now a quick dip in the Ugly-Maker (so called because of JJ, who had a deep-fryer accident in our kitchen last year, and who, incidentally, we now just call J) at a balmy 350 F. This peanut oil was previously used to deep-fry a turkey, so it made the whole house smell like Thanksgiving.

Ok, we were expecting the habanero poppers to be pretty brutal; habaneros usually rank in the low 6-digits on the Scoville scale, compared to the lowly jalapeño which only tops out at a paltry 8,000. We have personally used jalapeño juice instead of contact lens solution and not known the difference. Long story short, those who think jalapeños are hot are big, squishy wussies.

However, these things had no heat. None. They were like crinkly little bell peppers. We were so disgusted.

So, of course, we added a drop of Dave's Gourmet Insanity Sauce to each one. Dave's is the sauce used by the National Institute of Standards and Technology to judge all other hot sauces. It's not the hottest, but it's plenty hot, especially in the ratio used here.

"I weep for you," the Walrus said;
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.